


Shibayama's adventures as Nekoma VBC's manager

by quill_n



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Agender Character, Agender Kozume Kenma, Body Dysphoria, Coming Out, F/M, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Genderfluid Character, Genderfluid Shibayama Yuuki, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO PUT FOR CATEGORY, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Other, Trans Character, Trans Yaku Morisuke, a lot of projecting with this one ngl, they/them pronouns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:34:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29123514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quill_n/pseuds/quill_n
Summary: "Inuoka, you brought your girlfriend?"That would have been an innocent question had Shibayama actually been a girl.
Relationships: Haiba Lev/Yaku Morisuke (implied), Inuoka Sou & Shibayama Yuuki, Inuoka Sou/Shibayama Yuuki
Comments: 4
Kudos: 53





	Shibayama's adventures as Nekoma VBC's manager

**Author's Note:**

> [obligatory disclaimer] These are my PERSONAL headcanons. I do not claim ownership of these characters, nor do I intend disrespect towards other people's headcanons.
> 
> I present to you: something that's NOT badly written SemiShira smut!
> 
> This was an idea/headcanon I came up with a while ago and I couldn't resist writing about it (*´ω｀*)  
> I'll add the original headcanon at the end of the story~
> 
> ALSO a lot of projecting on Shiba on my part because my own dysphoria has been getting *bad* the past couple days haha (ノдヽ)  
> I'm not genderfluid (I think) but it's the dysphoria for me bro
> 
> Please enjoy~!

"Inuoka, you brought your girlfriend?"

That would have been an innocent question had Shibayama actually been a girl.

Sure, he was born as a girl. Everyone thinks he's a girl. In fact, he's even wearing the girl's uniform right now. But he really wasn't a girl. He was trans. Well, more specifically, genderfluid.

Shibayama Yuuki was genderfluid and very  _ not _ out. The only other person who knew about this was Inuoka, who was absolutely  _ beaming _ beside him as they stood at the entrance of the gym.

Actually, it was Inuoka who convinced Shibayama to join Nekoma's volleyball club. He'd practically  _ begged _ him to join after the shorter had spent the past few years in junior high helping him practice (that was how they started dating). He probably would have said no if his  _ ridiculously adorable _ boyfriend wasn't so damn convincing, so here he was, standing in front of eight scary-looking boys while they all towered over him with curious expressions. He shifted a little closer to Inuoka.

"Shibayama's gonna be our new manager!" Inuoka announced cheerfully.

One of the boys—an intimidating guy with a blonde mohawk (probably a second-year, Shibayama guessed)—let out a triumphant gasp. "We have a girl manager?" he asked quietly, and then exclaimed a little louder, "WE HAVE A GIRL MANAGER!"

Shibayama cringed, folding his arms over his chest. He'd doubled up on sports bras today, but he was still painfully aware that his chest was  _ not _ flat. The loud guy's accidental misgendering didn't help either.

"Shut up, Yamamoto!" another one of the boys—one of the third years, the short one with warm blonde hair—scolded. "Don't scare her!"

He turned to Shibayama with a smile. "Welcome to the Nekoma Volleyball Club! What's your name, first-year?"

Shibayama jumped, mentally cursing himself for forgetting his introduction. "My name is Shibayama Yuuki," he somehow managed to say without stuttering. "Nice to meet you!"

The resulting "Welcome!" almost scared him more than Mohawk Guy did. He was glad his name was gender-neutral, or else his dysphoria would be through the roof.

He mumbled a thank you, trying not to make his attempt to hide behind Inuoka obvious. Meanwhile, Mohawk Guy had gone back to excitedly proclaiming that they finally had a girl manager. Shibayama hid his frown in Inuoka's jacket.

* * *

"How did you find practice today?" Inuoka asked one day.

Shibayama looked at the ground. It had been about a week since he officially joined the VBC. It's not quite that he felt unwelcomed—the whole team had been quite the opposite of unwelcoming—but it was hard to get comfortable when everyone kept misgendering him.

"She's doing a great job so far!" Yaku had said while Shibayama passed out water bottles and towels.

"She learns quick!" Kuroo commented earlier when Shibayama had figured out the point system.

"The new girl is so cute!" Lev whispered not-so-quietly while they were cleaning up (which was almost worth hearing because of the cute, jealous look that Inuoka shot the half-Russian).

Inuoka must have read the look on his face because he suddenly frowned down at him. "What's wrong?"

Shibayama hesitated. "Nothing, Babe," he said. When his boyfriend gave him an unconvinced look, he sighed. "Just feeling dysphoric."

A warm pair of arms slid around his shoulders, pulling him into a warm, red embrace as Inuoka's track jacket surrounded his vision. "I'm sorry for all the misgendering."

"What? No, no, no, don't apologize for everyone else!" Shibayama said, trying to look up at his boyfriend. "It's fine. I'm used to it by now..."

"But it's not fine!" Inuoka shouted, meeting his joyfriend's eyes. He was silent for a moment. "You can tell them if you want, y'know."

Shibayama's eyes widened. "Eh?! No, I... I don't think I can."

"Sure, you can!"

It wasn't Inuoka's intention, but now he was thinking about his first and only other attempt to come out. His family had promptly shut him down the moment he even mentioned the word "transgender." It made him want to curl into a ball and hide from the world forever. His dysphoria suddenly felt ten times worse.

Shiba broke his gaze away, burying himself into his boyfriend's chest. He hoped Inuoka couldn't tell that he was partially trying to hide his own chest. "I'll be okay."

They were both quiet for a moment, and in that moment, Shiba felt safe and warm. It was a nice break from the dysphoria.

And then Inuoka whispered, "I'll get you a real binder one day."

Shibayama didn't believe him. He'd been saying that since junior high. He doubted it would happen any time soon.

* * *

A couple days later, Shibayama had wandered into the empty supply closet during a particularly bad dysphoric episode. At least, he thought it was empty. He wasn't expecting Nekoma's quiet setter to be there.

Kenma jerked his head up as Shibayama came in. "Hey," he simply said.

"H- Hey," Shiba greeted back, avoiding Kenma's eyes.

Shibayama silently cursed for a moment. All he wanted at that moment was to be alone. Suddenly, an idea struck him. He looked back up at the setter, remembering how Inuoka had told him to try coming out. Maybe he could let just one person know. Maybe that'd be easier than telling the whole team.

"Hey, Kenma?" he said, steeling his voice to stop it from shaking. "What do you think about... nonbinary genders?" A few brief memories of trying to talk about this with his family flashed through his mind, and he suppressed the urge to grimace.

"Hm?" Kenma regarded him with a raised eyebrow. "I'm okay with it. I  _ am _ nonbinary, after all."

Shibayama blinked at hi— Wait. "O-oh? What are... Um, what pronouns do you use?"

"They/them," Kenma said with a straight face. "I'm agender."

Shiba thought he might just burst with joy. He tried to hold back a smile. "Does the rest of the team know?"

Kenma only nodded in response, turning back to the game in their hands.

For a second, Shiba contemplated coming out to Kenma on the spot, but he hesitated for a second too long. Kenma was now fully focused on their game. He decided that he'd come back to the topic at a better time, and even better, now he knew that he  _ could _ come out.

* * *

His plans to come out were immediately cancelled when Yamamoto brought his younger sister to practice one day.

The siblings made a beeline towards Shibayama, Taketora excitedly introducing the two of them with neverending pride. Akane was nice. She was fun to talk to. It wasn't until Taketora had suggested that they go on a "girl's night" sometime with whoever Alisa was that Shiba shut down.

He awkwardly left practice that day, walking to Inuoka's house with him in total silence, and collapsing into his arms the moment they reached the middle blocker's bedroom.

"I'm not gonna do it," he mumbled.

"Hmm?"

"I'm not coming out."

Shibayama felt the familiar, comforting feeling of fingers running through his hair.

"You could try talking to Kuroo and Yaku. They can help."

He looked up.

"Please?" Inuoka said with a puppy-eyed plea.

Shiba thought for a moment. "I'll try."

* * *

The next day, Shibayama found the two third-years in the club room. He approached them with as much confidence as he could muster.

"Why is Yamamoto so happy about having a girl manager?" he started, dancing around his real question partially because he was genuinely curious, but mostly because he was stalling.

"Eh? I don't really know," Kuroo said, only half-paying attention. "He's always sort of been that way."

"Simple minded," Yaku commented with a mischievous grin.

"By the way," Kuroo added, putting on his shoes. "You've been doing a great job as manager."

Yaku hummed in agreement. "Everyone's been in a great mood with a girl around. Especially Inuoka," he said with a wink.

Dysphoria battled with flustered embarrassment in Shibayama's brain as he contemplated his next words. He settled on, "Thank you," and then dismissed himself.

There was no way he'd be able to do this.

* * *

The next week threw Shibayama into a new identity crisis.

They found themself shifting (not for the first time) to something more gender-neutral. They spent the weekend alone in their room, struggling with their pronouns. It was during one of these days that they started thinking of all the misgendering from their team, and then felt decidedly worse than they'd ever felt before. The next school day, they spent the morning longingly wished for Inuoka, and then impulsively decided to bind.

They knew they shouldn't use bandages, but the sports bras could only work for so long. They almost regretted it the moment he finished wrapping their chest, though. Their breathing was shallow (but at least they were flat, they told themself). They tugged on their uniform and walked to school.

The resulting day felt longer than the past few weeks combined. No one seemed to notice their flat chest, and if they did, they didn't comment on it. Shiba spent the entire school day feeling uncomfortably stiff in class. Inuoka asked them if they were okay at lunch, perhaps wondering if they were sick. They reassured him that they were fine and continued through the rest of the day, evidently regretting not using baby powder as they walked to club as they felt the bandages chafing against their sides.

Club was worse. It was hot in the gym, and Shibayama had to move around even more than before. The restriction on their lungs did  _ not _ help with that.

They were as exhausted as the players during practice.  _ More _ exhausted, actually. They slumped against Inuoka's shoulder the moment he came close enough to lean on. The latter gave them the same concerned look he had at lunch.

"You need to rest," he said. His tone left no room for arguments this time.

"I'm fine," Shiba wheezed. They tried to steady their grip on Inuoka's arm.

Inuoka frowned at them. "You are  _ not _ fine, you need to go to the nurse!"

Shiba tried to say "Babe, I swear, I'm fine!" but their voice was hazy and their vision was starting to blur. They were vaguely aware of Inuoka calling for Yaku, and when they opened their eyes, they were in the nurse's office with two worried faces peering back at them.

They blinked. "What...?"

Inuoka pulled them into a hug. "You worried me!" Before Shibayama could respond, he was pulling away, handing them a bottle of water while giving them an intense look. "Please tell him."

Shiba looked at Yaku. He was quietly watching them with the same curious gaze he had when they first came to the club. A new wave of dysphoria hit them, and they automatically reached for their chest, startling when they realized the bandages were gone.

"Wha— Where is my..." They met Yaku's eyes, and realization hit them.

"You were binding too tightly, and you shouldn't use bandages," Yaku said slowly, reading Shibayama's expression.

"I'm sorry," the latter said quickly, not knowing what else to say. They felt lightheaded, but they couldn't tell whether that was from the binding or the anxiety that just swept through them.

"Don't be sorry," Yaku said. "What pronouns do you use?"

Shibayama gulped. "I'm genderfluid," they answered before they could talk themself out of it, then bit their tongue because that wasn't what Yaku had asked. "I mean... Right now, it's they/them." They didn't notice the tears dripping from their cheeks until Inuoka reached up to wipe one away.

"I'm sorry for misgendering you."

Shibayama looked up at the third-year again.

"I should have known better," Yaku continued. "I shouldn't have assumed. I know how bad being misgendered can feel." When Shibayama gave him a confused look, Yaku smiled. "I'm trans. He/him."

To say that Shibayama started sobbing would be an understatement. The amount of relief that washed over them was overwhelming. Inuoka pulled them into another hug, stroking their hair lovingly.

"I'll help you come out to the team, okay?"

Shiba couldn't do anything but nod in response, but that was more than enough for Yaku.

"One more thing!" Inuoka said, letting go of his joyfriend to grab something from his bag.

Shiba couldn't help but long for the safety of his arms around them again, but then he came back, dropping a sports binder in their lap.

"I hope I got the size right. I told you I was getting it!" he said triumphantly.

"Don't wear it right now, though. You need to give your lungs a break," Yaku interjected sternly.

"Thank you," was all Shiba said. They choked on their words. "Thank you so much."

* * *

"I'm genderfluid."

It was as simple as that.

"Please use any pronouns for me, but right now I prefer they/them."

Despite Inuoka and Yaku's incessant reassurance, Shibayama was still expecting some sort of negative reaction, so when the three of them returned to practice and asked everyone (including the coaches) to gather around, Shiba practically felt like fainting again. What they  _ weren't _ expecting were the welcoming smiles that suddenly beamed at them.

"Thanks for letting us know!" Kuroo said with a grin (partially at them, but mostly at Yaku).

"I'm glad you trust us with this!" Kai said in a voice that made Shibayama feel like he would have hugged them if he'd been standing close enough.

"I'm sorry for misgendering you!" Lev promptly apologized, looking guilty (Shibayama pretended to ignore the playful glance that Yaku sent towards the other first year).

This was much more acceptance than they were expecting. Even coach Nekomata was nodding at them, smiling more genuinely than Shiba's own grandpa had ever smiled before. The only odd response was when Yamamoto had sheepishly said something about not having a girl manager after all (his precise words were, "I knew it was too good to be true!" but his voice was absent of any malice).

Shiba's face was burning from smiling for too long, but the euphoria that was swarming them at that moment made it worth it. They looked back at their boyfriend, who was grinning just as wide as they were. Then, he said something unexpected.

"Hey, Yuuki... Do you still wanna be our manager?"

"Huh?!" Shibayama sputtered. "Of course I still want to be your manager!"

Inuoka barked a laugh. "No, no, that's not what I meant! I mean do you want to be part of the team?"

When Shibayama still gave him a confused look, Yaku continued for him. "He means do you want to start practicing with us? You could join the team as a player. Inuoka's been telling me how he thinks you'd be a good libero."

Shibayama tried not to blush at the fact that their boyfriend talked to one of the third years about them. "Don't you need a manager, though?"

"Nope!" Yaku said. "It'd be nice to have one, but it's not necessary."

"Please join!" Inuoka chimed in.

Shibayama hesitated. "Would I even be allowed on the boys team?"

At this, Coach Nekomata spoke up. "We can talk it out. They let Yaku on the team, after all."

Shibayama glanced at the ground, considering their options, then looked up at everyone. "I'll do it!"

* * *

That was probably the best decision Shibayama had ever made. After they came out, Nekomata had talked to the school, and they were officially made part of the boy's volleyball team.

They started as a libero, and Yaku made it his mission to work extra hard to support them. Shibayama had been working hard, too, and they improved a lot over the next few weeks, or so Yaku had told them.

The new binder worked perfectly. Yaku had helped Inuoka do the right research so he could make sure it would be safe to wear for sports. The size was just right, and it definitely helped prevent more dysphoric episodes from happening during practice.

Now, the team was in Miyagi for a training camp. After sharing a bath with Yaku (the only reason for that being neither of them had fully transitioned yet), Shibayama had spent the evening talking with Inuoka and Yamamoto about their opposing team, with the latter loudly announcing that they didn't have a girl manager multiple times. (Shibayama probably should have been offended, but Kuroo had told them that this was Yamamoto's way of showing his support.)

That night, they all slept on several different mats (in the same room! not separated!), but Shibayama ended up tugging his mat closer to Inuoka's. They didn't talk for fear of waking the others, but it was nice to be able to be in each other's presence for a night. Even binder-less, Shiba felt safe in Inuoka's arms, safe with the rest of the team.

They fell asleep knowing they were finally where they belonged.

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone's curious, here's the exact headcanon that this short is based off:
> 
> "I personally headcanon that Shibayama (heehoo comfort character) is afab masc-leaning genderfluid.  
> and my brain right now just went  
> -how did they get onto the boys vb team if they're afab?-  
> and that immediately spiraled onto  
> -hey. what if they originally signed up as the manager but then came out to the team and they all just accepted them and that's how they joined the team.-
> 
> and to top it all off  
> -Yamamoto avidly expresses that they don't have a girl manager to show his support for them ♡(˃͈ દ ˂͈ ༶ )-
> 
> I needed that hc in my life and now it's gonna live in my head *rent free*"
> 
> \- me at three AM sometime last month


End file.
